Lagunitas IPA Maximus

Lagunitas IPA Maximus

Hops gangbang in a bottle. 

Time for another beer review and today the beer of choice is Maximus from the Lagunitas Brewing Company.  This one comes in at 8.2% ABV, an O.G. of 1.080 and an IBU of 72.41.  Now, first off I have to say I love this brewery.  A lot. I'm rarely disappointed with their beers and this one is no exception.  And if you look closely they always have some cool story (Undercover Investigation Shutdown Ale) or in some cases (Maximus) non sensible shit they put on the label.  It's entertainment in a bottle.  Even the ingredients list is interesting:  Hops, Malt, Hops, Hops, Yeast, Hops, Water, and Hops.  You can tell they love brewing because they have fun with it.  They aren't all serious and shit. So, let's get to it.

Appearance:  This beer poured into my tulip a gorgeous copper color with less than half a finger of head and some decent lacing.  At 8.2% ABV, and it being a DIPA, that's not surprising.  And you can always tell when your glass is cleaned properly by the lacing.  Mine is definitely cleaned properly.  Overall, a very attractive beer.

Smell:  Right off the bat you get grapefruit and citrus peel.  Two things I love.  Swirl your glass a bit and it punches you right in the face.  Its a citrus fruit street fight and you just got dragged into it.  You get the floral and piny hops in the nose pretty good, too.  I also detect a teeny bit of pineapple in there.   It's got a super sweet smell to it.  Sort of like Dogfish's 90 Minute IPA.

Taste:  Man, this is good.  I've seen various reviews for this and it's gotten B's.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but these people are obviously imbeciles.  This is a damn good DIPA.  To me this is like an alcoholic ruby red grapefruit juice.  SUPER juicy, bitter, and sweet all at the same time.  And, surprise! Malts that weren't evident in the smell.  I love surprises.  It's got a sweet maltiness right in the middle of the taste profile, which adds balance to the juicy, bitter hops. Again, I get citrus rind, grapefruit, and pineapple from the hops as well as some pine lingering on the back end.  So we have citrus punching you in the face, whilst caramel malts are working your torso area and pine stomps you in the dick.  You will get a beat down from this beer.

Mouthfeel:  (In a Russian accent) Slick like oil or snake with medium bodies.  The carbonation is not too high, not too light.  It work like Russian housewife to refreshings your palates.  Strong like bull.

Overall:  To save some time,  read the intro between "Time for another beer review and today the beer of choice is Maximus from the Lagunitas Brewing Company.  This one comes in at 8.2% ABV, an O.G. of 1.080 and an IBU of 72.41.  Now," and up the the "So, let's get to it" part.  And then I'll add that this will be a regular in my fridge.  So, overall, it's fucking awesome.

Graphic representation of Maximus in image form. 

On Survival, Awareness, Psychology and Mortality

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Victory Hop Wallop

Good as hell.

For this posting, I'm going to review a rather fabulous beer (I say fabulous with a staunch record of heterosexuality).  This particular beer is called "Hop Wallop" and it's brewed by an awesome brewery out of Downingtown, PA called Victory Brewing Company.

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I've pretty much NEVER been disappointed by a Victory brew and Hop Wallop is no exception.  This is a fantastic beer from a fantastic brewery and if you are a hop head, one you need to try NOW. On to the review.

Victory Hop Wallop
Victory Brewing Company
Downingtown, PA, USA

American Imperial/Double IPA

8.5% Alc. / Vol.

 Presentation

12 oz. brown bottle with a bottled on date.  Per the story on the label: "Horace 'Hop' Wallop headed West a broken man. For in the City of Blues a Miss LuLu Belle Lager had left him thirsting for more.  Drawn by wild tales of riches to be had in the gold mines, Hop pressed on westward.  His last nickel spent on a prospecting pan.  Hop's hunger got the best of him.  Two fistfuls of barley and three of some wild and wayward hops tossed in a pan with some clear water was to be his meal.  But sleep overcame him and he later awoke to a bubbling, cacophonous concoction.  Overjoyed with the beautiful ale that he had made, Hop realized the secret of the green gold he had discovered in those fresh hops.  Celebrated far and wide, Hop Wallop lives on in this vivid ale with his words, "hoppiness is happiness".  Enjoy!"  A beer with a backstory.  Fucking innovation in the craft beer world.  That's more back story than most characters in today's Hollywood movies have.  This isn't just a beer brewed and put on shelves for the enjoyment of craft beer lovers all over the USA.  No, this is a beer with a fucking story, which makes you appreciate and love it that much more.  And when it's gone you genuinely grieve, because given the backstory of the mascot Horace "Hop" Wallace and the epic story behind the creation of this beer (his jilting via Miss LuLu Bell Lager leading to his adventure West and nearly starving to death) makes you relate to it.  It brings a tear to the eye.

I am drinking this from my tulip.  If you are a craft beer drinker and you don't have a tulip GET YOU ONE!  Otherwise, all of your efforts are useless.

A side note is that Bill Covaleski, co-founder and head brewer, does all the artwork for the beer labels himself.  This is fucking awesome.  Not only does he brew it, but he's doing the art for the labels, too.  Phenomenal. This dude knows what's up.

Appearance

Awesome white head on this rather clear colored beer that leaves a nice sticky lacing down the glass.  It's like the bubbles are little mini Spidermen leaving webbing down the side of the glass as they are chasing Dr. Hoptopus in his attempt to steal the gold that gives this beer it's gorgeous hue.


Smell

Loads of citrus and loads of pine.  Orange, grapefruit, and pine cones.  All day.  It's like you spent the night in a citrus grove and instead of coffee when you woke up you took some pine cones and fruit from the trees and had this for breakfast.  Super aromatic beer.


Taste and Mouth Feel

Medium body with a nice crisp mouth feel.  Taste is identical to the smell: Citrus including orange peel, a bit of lemon, grapefruit and tons of pine.  It's a tongue twister.  Citrus pine cone punch to the face.  Say that 5 times fast.  And do it while drinking this beer.  It's like trying to conjure Jesus at a seance.  Not gonna happen. A small malt backbone is there right up front to keep the hops in check, like a manpon with mudbutt, but the hops are definitely doing work throughout the rest of the experience.  Despite the 8.5% ABV, there is no alcohol burn to speak of.  Fantastic balance in this beer.


Drinkability

As hell.  If you are a hop head, this is a phenomenal beer that is a fantastic example of the DIPA style.  Maybe even an example of what DIPA's SHOULD be like going forward.  And this is an East Coast IPA.  The West Coast is known for their IPA's but Victory is putting them on notice.  If you haven't had this beer yet and you consider yourself a hop head, go ahead and cry yourself to sleep every night until you get the chance to try because YOU ARE missing out.  

Overall 
Overall, this beer is the shit.  Everything about this beer is awesome, from the appearance to the balance in the taste.  The name itself accurately identifies what this beer is about.  You will get a wallop of awesomeness right in the face.  Hope you have a cast iron jaw!!

I Have Too Much Time On My Hands...

I'm a sucker for classic cars, and, I can't lie; this is fucking awesome. I really like this. I mean REALLY. And if I could afford one of the new Camaros I would have this done PRONTO. I know, I know, the Judge is a Pontiac but Pontiac is adios and you "make do" with what you have. And I wouldn't exactly call this "making do". Besides, the new Camaro IS based off the Pontiac GTO chassis, so technically it is a GTO and it looks pretty damn sweet. And the Judge is one of the baddest cars ever made. I just imagined a scenario in my head that goes something like:

Scene - Dusk. Sean rolls up to a stop light in his Judge. A modified Honda Civic is sitting at the light. Because there is a shit ton of these in Miami. Sean's window is down and the driver of the Civic looks over, doing a double take to make sure he is really seeing what he thinks he is seeing.

Tuner Driver - "OYE! Mira! HA! Where did you get that done? Is that a Judge?"

Sean - "Indeed. And the Jury. And the Executioner."

The light turns green, then I drop it and fishtail all epically and smoke the tires and I'm gone. I'd probably get "Jury" over the rear quarterpanels and "Executioner" put on the back so when people see the me pass they get the whole effect. Yeah, I have too much time on my hands.

Kimura By Way of Arm Bar

Quick post. This is a sweet little transition to a kimura from an arm bar attempt and really shows the creativity that can be used in Jiu Jitsu. It's all about using what is given to you.

Porsche Owners...

This definitely falls in the category of unacceptable.  So, we are driving back from Walgreens and we are sitting at a red light, and sitting in cross traffic was a Porsche Cayenne Turbo.  With a piece of duct taped cardboard for a rear passenger window. Yeah, you just read that.  DUCT TAPE. CARDBOARD WINDOW. IF YOU CAN AFFORD A FUCKING PORSCHE CAYENNE TURBO YOU CAN AFFORD A NEW REAR WINDOW!!! Now, I don't know the story behind this cardboard "window". Someone probably tried to break in... One of the neighborhood kids could have hit a ball through it...  I don't know. But come on. It's a Porsche and you own it. To me, that comes off as someone who can't really AFFORD the car, but purchased it to say "Hey, I drive a Porsche SUV"; strictly a status symbol.  That's sad. Because now they are driving around in that $100,000 SUV with a piece of cardboard where there should be glass and everyone knows they can't really afford it.

...And In the Beginning...

The title of this blog is 406 Error. Which is an "Unacceptable" error.  You've seen 404 Errors where the "Page Cannot Be Found". Pretty common. Well with a 406 error:

"A client (e.g. your Web browser or our CheckUpDown robot) can indicate to the Web server (running the Web site) the characteristics of the data it will accept back from the Web server. This is done using 'accept headers' of the following types:

• Accept: The MIME types accepted by the client. For example, a browser may only accept back types of data (HTML files, GIF files etc.) it knows how to process.
• Accept-Charset: The character sets accepted by the client.
• Accept-Encoding: The data encoding accepted by the client e.g. the file formats it understands.
• Accept-Language: The natural languages (English, German etc.) accepted by the client.
• Accept-Ranges: Whether the client accepts ranges of bytes from the resource i.e. a portion of the resource.

If the Web server detects that the data it wants to return is not acceptable to the client, it returns a header containing the 406 error code."  

Basically... That shit isn't acceptable.  

So I've noticed that I have been ranting A LOT on Facebook lately.  And if I see some cool shit I'll usually post about it as a status update or a note or whatever.  A lot of times I'm posting about a craft beer I'm drinking or some food I've tried or MMA.  Anyway, the purpose of this blog is sort of like what Seinfeld was about.  Absolutely NOTHING in particular.  I figured, what the hell? That worked... why can't this? I have A SHIT TON of useful (and useless) information that I feel would be beneficial to share with people. I'm going to talk about things that really piss me off.  Shit that I find unacceptable.  I may review a craft beer or a knife or something.  I may give tips on various forms of combat, survivalism, outdoor survival, mountain biking... whatever.  Feel free to leave input as well.  So that's it for now.  It's 4 a.m., I'm an insomniac and I need to make myself go to sleep.